(from one mother to the next)
Life for the first five years seems like a blur to most moms growing their family and managing a home. We go from having all babies and toddlers to *boom* a CHILD.
I've always been the type of mom who gets very annoyed at the whole
"hold them a little longer" movement.
I just never fit in with (dare I say it) overly attached mothering...
I typically am the *feel your feelings and move on* type of person and that group of people seem to really despise me. LOL
I love my kids at each stage and never want them to feel bad for growing and developing.
So the whole, being sad that children aren't eternal babies and dependent on mom forever
has never really sat well with me.
That's not to say I don't have my things that make me sad when it's time to let them go.
One would be when my babies out grow their newborn clothes. That's always been difficult for me. (and it doesn't take long as I give birth to giants...)
I blame PP hormones for the tears I cry while storing little newborn sleepers. LOL
My oldest daughter just had her fifth birthday and all the sudden there's this little girl walking around doing her thing. The chaos of having three butts to wipe (to say it bluntly) has somehow come to an end overnight. I'm sure every mom can relate to wanting to cry and cry when their child gets a year older and from the running trend I've seen... it's encouraged.
But honestly....
Birthdays are a celebration and our emotions as mothers are our own responsibility not our children's.
(it's not even our husbands responsibility to help regulate our emotions)
I've personally gone through my mothering journey having little trouble letting go of baby hood as my perspective has always been:
"They're not mine. They are their own person."
My job as their mother is to keep them safe and loved pointing them to Christ and helping them along the way through teaching and diligent prayer.
BUT. I've recently discovered a part of motherhood that has finally broken my heart.
Something I've never thought of after three children....
THE NEW BORN SMELL.
I've been told my heart is as hard as stone so this discovery in a way shocked me. LOL
That ache I've been feeling and the realization that I'm human...OUCH
(sarcasm..)
My husband and I now joke about how it's our turn to be those people who wait for grand-babies just to smell that smell again. It's bittersweet how life keeps on moving even when you want it to stop for just a moment.
I encourage all you moms out there to rebel against the culture that tells you to wrap yourself in self pity and agonize over every day your child gets older. If it's leading you to find your identity in your children you should probably not accept such encouragement.
Children are a blessing not a possession.
Each stage in a child's life is wonderful. Don't believe the lie that baby hood is the only good part of mothering and to cling onto it for as long as you can. What does one have during the baby hood years that they don't have throughout the rest of their child's life?
Controle.
I dont know much as Im a young mom with young children. Im still learning myself...
Yet, one of my goals is to thoroughly enjoy my babies and thoroughly enjoy having children and teens and adults. If it was up to me I would have a couple more babies but as much as I want that's just not likely my story. In a way I'm glad this is my story for I've been forced to recognize a reality of motherhood sooner than I probably would have if I had 10 more years of child bearing in me.
My children don'ts belong to me. They are my responsibility not my possession.
The ones that grow within me are not guaranteed to grow in my arms.
Raising our children based on what others think will never bring a healthy relationship.
Children becoming who they are is not an offence targeted toward me but a reward.
To find my value in my children will only end in bitterness.
And to thoroughly enjoy that newborn smell.
Motherhood is not easy but if done properly, surrounding ourselves with a healthy community and support we can finish our race with dignity and joy. For our race will end and when it does I want to gladly hand down my mothers day to celebrate the young mothers I hope my daughter can be. To give up the scheduling and discipline in place of more friend like conversation and support. Our children grow and change and it's a beautiful thing if we can grow and change alongside them. Accepting the changing seasons and seeing the beauty each one holds whether it's what we wanted it to look like or not.
Hold our babies as long as they'll let us... But we can't force them to stay if it's time to let them grow. That does nothing but stunt the growth. It's a beautiful thing to just wake up one day and have a child filling her water bottle, brushing her hair and dressing herself. It's an ache of the heart to let go of those sweet moments shared together but we can now start new memories and joys and continue to plant seeds that will grow.
This is more about one young mothers perspective who just saw her oldest baby turn into a little girl... not about shoving my advice down your throat.
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